Last Leaf

Song of the Day: Afterwards by Danielle Ate the Sandwich

Quivering on the edge

between uncertainty and predictability

it lies.

Unnoticed by some,

a small tribute to the beauty of life.

Time changed.

What had once been glory was now ugliness

Hidden from the eyes of the ignorant

and hope was lost

like the final seal of an envelope

like the resounding slam of the door

like the forgotten memories.

And it perches almost eagerly

ready to fall

ready to let go

ready to leave this beauty behind

And it was just a question of when.

It was quivering, swaying, rocking

The pressure and the weight of it all

finally pulled on by that

little invisible thread

It broke off.

Almost peacefully, beautifully.

So full of this precious aura

circumferencing its edges

And the fall,

oh the fall!

How glorious was that feeling,

that feeling of invincibility

How ironic.

And in that moment of in-between

after breaking, but before loss,

it sighed.




Books read: 14
Flights read: 5
CCB's: 2

Happy Warmth

Song of the Day: What I Wouldn't Do--A Fine Frenzy

Surprisingly, I am extremely content at the moment. And the record shows that I have never ONCE in my life uttered that phrase during the chaos of Production Week. Yes, it's that time of year again. Our musical, Anything Goes, premieres on Friday which at times is a very scary thought. *shudders*

But right now I'm not even worried about that! Because I'm typing up this blog, sitting in my back patio at 8:30 on a sunday night. My car, Phoebe, claims that it's 73 degrees outside, which is truly amazing. Wasn't it just 37 degrees yesterday morning when I had to sit out in the cold at work? Wait, Grace. Don't think about that. Just focus on NOW. Because right NOW is incredible. 

I love warm weather! So much. And I think it's crazy how much it can lift a person's mood. I know for a fact, that during the dreary winter months I am a much more irritable person on average. I don't do it on purpose, but the season just has that sort of effect on me. But now that summer's in the air, it's the complete opposite. Summer makes me want to jump up and down and throw confetti in the air and give a dwarf a piggy back ride. And I truly can't wait for it any longer. Hopefully this excitement won't prolong the coming of it. 

This blog is going to be short--Not because I don't have anything interesting to say (I could just rave about warm weather ALL day long) but because I am at a steady race against the deteriorating battery life of my laptop.* Which frankly, annoys me because I could sit out here barefoot all night if I could! But I guess it's just technology's magic way of coercing me inside where some lemon curd cupcakes await me. Thanks technology--I'll never drop you in a bathtub or an ocean again. 

...I just got bit by my first mosquito of the season! I don't know whether to be annoyed or excited but I thought it should be documented either way. Now I'm going to smoothly segue into my next idea: Speaking of documentation, I'm going to start keeping tallies of certain things I do a lot. Don't worry, I'm not creative. I stole the idea from several other bloggers. I think I'm going to tally books I've read this year, flights taken this year, and CCB's (Cinnamon Crunch bagels from Panera's) consumed this year. Unless I get bored and decide to change.

Books read: 13

Flights taken: 5

CCB's consumed: 2 (despicable of me)

*Fun Fact of the day: I used to think a "laptop" was actually called a "labtop". I'm slightly Lysdexic. But I also thought that Volleyball was "Bollyball". Hmmm......

Today was Awesome?

I've been wanting to start a blog for quite some time now, but the time just never feels right. Whenever I get inspiration to write something, I'm away from my handy Macbook and whenever I'm here, staring blankly into the screen, all ideas effortlessly slip form my mind. But sometimes, things affect you in ways you wouldn't expect. I imagined my first blog to be written after some grand adventure that I had experienced or something; full of enlightenment and ready to share my thoughts with the world. Well, I'll tell you one thing: that wasn't today. Not even close. 


Today was a pretty mediocre, albeit boring, day to begin with. I woke up at an incredibly disturbing hour (much to the dismay of my jet-lagged brain) and went off to school where I endured the studying of elasticity formulas on springs, expository essays, tongue twisters en francais, and stubborn computers in Yearbook. Not to mention that I've had a mysterious side cramp for two days that feels as if an invisible unicorn is boring it's horn into my spleen. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow if it continues. And then I went to track practice. I won't go into detail, but there was some running. It's usually awful, even without a mythical creature causing you pain. And then there was play practice. Busy and hectic, but it was easily the best part of my day. Then I came home. I'll summarize the events so as not to bore anyone. 2 college rejection letters (well "waitlisted", but we all know how that goes), one of which was from my top choice that I've been dreaming of attending for about a year now. I took a shower, probably cried, and then was surprisingly graceful as I started to get out, reached for my phone on the toilet back, and slipped into the shower water slush, dropping my phone into the water with me. I should just blame my lousy pipe system that refuses to drain my shower water. 


And I do this thing, everyday, called my "Why Today is Awesome" journal. Inspired by the fiveawesomegirls and specifically, the suggestion of Wednesday girl, Kayley Hyde. And you know what one of the first things I thought of was after dropping my phone in the bathtub? "What the hell am I going to say for the awesome part of the day? Today sucked!" Isn't that comical? After all the crappy things that were thrown at me today, I was still too afraid to write down in my journal that today, in fact, was NOT awesome. And I started to wonder why. I think sometimes I, and perhaps other people too, are afraid to record the bad stuff of their lives. I refrain from writing bad memories down, so instead I can forget them. I delete bad pictures, bad facebook comments, and I've even ripped out old journal pages from middle school, thinking "I can't believe I was so ridiculous to write this-just because I was upset once." As if writing how I really FEEL is just too unrealistic to handle. Not that I'm condoning stupid actions either, because that's just well... stupid. And who knows. Maybe I'll look back on this blog post later and delete it because I sounded "stupid". Or "immature." Well, I hope I don't. Because life isn't always sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time. It's a (look out teachers- bad metaphor ahead!) seesaw that's never exhilarating unless you go up and down. That balance is what makes us truly human. Pushing out the bad stuff just keeps us from more we could learn about ourselves. And I don't want to only remember the parts of myself that I deemed acceptable to record at the time, and to save for my future self's eyes. I want to know every bit of who I was and who I am. 




Today is awesome because I'm not afraid.